Reader check and book update

Is anybody reading my blog?  If so, please comment, just to let me know that you've been here.

Also, for the readers, Since I've been laid off, I've been thinking of my books a lot.  I think I may attempt to publish this year.  I just need to tally the costs and see if I can swing it in my budget.  Unless somebody wants to donate using the go fund me site to the right or click this link (https://www.gofundme.com/publishmeplease)  I may not be able to budget publishing a book.  

However, I read through my old synopsis of my first choice of books to be published and I'm not sure I like it.  I think I need to rewrite it.  What do you folks think?  


The Perfect Time

When an infection hospitalizes Sarah, she begins speaking a strange language.   Sally, her best friend, records what she said and gets it translated with shocking results.   Once Sarah is released from the hospital, her friend tells her about the episodes of her speaking in tongues.   She learns she’s lived before in sixteenth century Scotland and was married to an abusive Laird.  Her 16th century version has secrets that may cause harm to her and the blacksmith known as Tanner.  Little did she know that the choice made in the sixteenth century would have repercussions today.

Genres:  Historical Romance, Past Lives, Romantic Comedy

Stress

 I was laid off of work for the first time ever. My last day was February 29th.  I've been panicky, depressed, angry, and stressed.  Stress is not good for my rheumatoid arthritis.  So yes, I was in pain too.  Probably more so than usual.  

When you are in pain every day, you learn to brush it off or hide it so others don't realize you're hurting.  I hide it very well and even manage to fool myself into thinking it's not that bad.  I didn't realize how much I fooled myself until I started to focusing on the symptoms.  

On Monday the 7th, I started a log .   It's just an excel spreadsheet where I list basic activities, pain level, where it hurts, etc.  

I only have four days worth of stuff and already it's made me think.  When you have to rate your pain level, it makes you ask yourself, why didn't I say anything sooner?  or Why didn't I get help?   Because I've learned to hide the pain, the fatigue, and all the other crap on a day to day basis.  With work, I always had something to distract me from how crappy I felt. Since I'm not working, well... no distractions and a lot of thinking.  Self realization.  

The thought of finding another job is scary.  it's terrifying to me.  I haven't had a job interview in nearly 18 years. I'm sure that it's normal to be scared and intimidated over the thought of looking for another job, getting those interviews. 

But I realized something else.   What is making me panic and stress is the thought of having to walk in a huge office.  How many steps to the bathroom?  What's the shortest route to the bathroom?  Would I be allowed to take frequent breaks?  Because I can't stay seated behind a desk for more than hour or my legs hurt and get stiff.  If I can't take frequent breaks, would my future boss think it's okay to wander around my cube or just to stand for a few minutes.  Speaking of standing, I can't stand longer than a half hour or my poor feet hurt worse. 

so yea, I have those thoughts going on.   The symptom log I started has made me realize that I shouldn't be hiding what Rheumatoid Arthritis is doing to me.  I haven't seen a rheumatologist in years and that's biting me in the ass now.  Why haven't I seen a RA doc?  Because I have had horrible luck with them and the medications they put you on are insane.   I know I have to find an RA Doc once my health insurance is figured out but I just hope he's going to listen to me. 

I won't go into my reason about why I don't like the medications or my history with RA docs. You can see my post from last year by clicking here.  So now, I need to find a rheumatologist who will listen to me and help me and that might take a while. 

Wish me luck!