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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Dream: The Wrath of the Statues

Weird dream from last night. I wasn't actually in it. Dream starts and a man has come home from a long journey. He has discovered an ancient temple and nobody believes him because the temple is in Antarctica. Everybody thinks the cold had an effect on his mind and he is then discredited. He starts to walk home and is stopped by a boy about 10 years old. The boy heard of this temple and wants to see it. The man knows he shouldn't but he agrees to take the kid on the return journey to the temple.

Fast forward and the man and boy are standing on a very snowy mountain. They have to reach the top of the mountain to see the temple. The reached the top and the man, waves his arm like he's a price is right model showing prizes. Before them is a valley with lots of trees and grass, very green. In the center of the valley, are structures but you can't make them out because of the tall trees blocking them.

The boy says "Finally." But the man didn't hear him. He explains to the boy that to get down there is very tricky and the boy is to do everything he does. The man jumps down and grabs a nearby vine. He swings to what might be a natural ladder but the rungs of the ladder are 10 feet apart. The man grabs the top rung of the ladder and waits for the boy. The boy easily follows him like he's done it before. Together, the two release their hands and drop to the rung below them. They continue this until they reach the valley floor.

There's a path now before them, and they walk down it. Even though the man has seen it before, he gawks at all the greenery around him and the temperature is comfortable too. They reach a huge stone building and walk through the door. Inside are what look like statues that are at least 20 feet tall. The boy quietly stands beside the man as the man starts talking about the statues.

Suddenly, a voice yells in front of them, "Silence! I told you never to return!" The man looks for the source of the voice and see's one of the statues, a woman, looking at him and she's pissed. "What is the meaning of this?" She asks.

"I tried to tell people of this place but nobody believed me except for this boy." The man replies. "I had to show him it was real."

The woman statue bends down (you can hear the stone she's made of grinding as she bends) and her face is inches away from the boy who is grinning madly. Suddenly, the woman stands up tall and starts waving her hands in front of her, an energy ball of lightning is forming between her hands. The man stands between her and the boy.

"Wait! He's just a boy, he means no harm." He replies.

"That is no boy. That is our long lost brother. He must die." She says as another hand from another statue, grabs the man by the back of his shirt and moves him out of the way.

"I came to rejoin you." The boy finally says to the statues. He turns to the man, "I am sorry for misleading you but I had to find out if you were a crackpot or if you really found my home."

"You were banished a millennia ago, brother. Why return now?" The woman says.

I can hear the boy and the statues talking but I can't remember what was said. I do remember an energy ball narrowly missing the boy. This is where the dream turns into another one that has nothing to do with the statue dream. I wish I found out how it ended but unless the dream continues tonight, I'll never know the ending.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Pity Party

It's time for a little pity party.  I'm your host and you're all invited.  
 
All this past week, my joints have been hurting. Rheumatoid Arthritis sucks.  I don't care if you don't think it's a disease. I don't care if you think it's just a little pain.  I could wish that you live in my shoes for a week and see how you deal with it but I can't. I won't wish R.A. on anybody, friend or enemy. 
 
You see, Rheumatoid Arthritis isn't just about pain. It's about fatigue too.  some days you feel like you've been run over by an 18 wheeler, repeatedly.. other days you feel like you've been run over by a 10 speed bike.  Now add to that the weak and tired and fatigued feeling you feel when you get the Flu.  Don't forget to factor in the little fact that you will never know which joints will hurt on which days and you will never know how tired you are from one day to the next.    Now imagine living with it and working full time.
 
Yea, that's my life.  Usually, I don't let it get to me too much.  I pretend I'm okay and sometimes I believe it.   Wednesday, driving home from work was Hell with the stop and go traffic.  My right knee was screaming at me and I was near tears by the time I got home.  When I did get home, I tried to relax and elevate my legs. It did help but not enough. By Thursday morning, I was using my cane to walk around my apartment.  I had to work from home Thursday because the pain was so bad.    Thursday night, I knew I had to go into the office Friday and I knew I would have to bring a cane with me (I brought the cane I keep stored in my car).    I fell asleep early, around 8pm didn't wake up until 5:15 am (15 minutes after my alarm clock went off).  My knee felt better, I could around my apartment okay.  But I didn't let that fool me. 
 
Here I am at work with my cane behind me and typing.  I am again near tears but not just because of the pain, it's because of my situation.  It gets overwhelming sometimes.    I drove into work with my right knee starting to scream at me for driving.  I hobble around the office and work.  Now I'm sitting here, thinking about things and the thought that this is my future is more than I can handle.  I've had Rheumatoid Arthritis for over 13 years now.  I should be used to it.  But knowing that there is no cure for R.A. and you either have to diminish your immune system to nothing to stop R.A. (and risk getting every germ in the office, and I mean every germ of every kind) or find a way to deal with the pain. 
 
Please don't give me the "I heard there was a special diet to help R.A...."   and "You won't get every germ if you take the medicine..."
 
First, I am not going to stop eating the foods I love.  The only way that would happen is if you wire my jaw shut. I love food too much to be put on a special diet for the rest of my life.   Secondly, I took those medicines before and while they did help my arthritis a lot, it seemed like I had a cold all the time.  Also, I got meningitis 2 years ago because my immune system is so messed up.  Do you really think I want to take the medicines to reduce my immune system to nothing and risk getting meningitis again?  Not only no but Hell no! 
 
So, I'll sit here and do my work.  I'll get up every 30 minutes or more so that my joints don't stiffen up.  I'll go through each day like I have before.   Just remember, when you look at me, don't think I have it easy and please don't wish you could trade places.   It's not fun. you won't like it.
 
 
 

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

And now for your reading pleasure...

The Crab Dream! Hot off the presses from my own warped mind , a new dream I had last night. Enjoy!


Dream starts with me taking Mom & Dad out somewhere. It was a surprise and I couldn't tell them where we were going. Scene changes and mom and I were fighting some sort of slimy bog oozy things. One whack and they were puddles of slime. However there were tons of these things. Dad was behind us doing nothing. As mom and I progressed, new monsters came out, 2 legged brown things that resembled 20 foot long anteaters (and also snuffleupagus) . Suddenly the level is over and we made it to the next level. Yup, it was a virtual game (the kind where you feel like you are there). We decided to take a break and were laughing all the way to a classical concert. Before the concert started, I told mom that I peeked at the next level and told her that we had to kill 160,000 of those slime things, not including the other monsters that jumped out at you.

We started discussing strategies when the concert was about to start. The announcer said what the first piece they were going to play was and I turned to dad and said "What did he say? Sounded like Urine Pee" Mom started laughing uncontrollably which made me laugh uncontrollably. Dad repeated what I said to the guys in the row behind us and I looked up and around and Patrick Stewart was there with a powdered white wig on. He started chuckling and he repeated to the guy he was sitting next to, he said it in this real snooty voice. "I say, she thought he said Urine Pee." The other guy started chuckling and said "well I suppose it does sound like that, doesn't it." This other guy is Wilfrid Hyde-White. Look him up, you'll know him.

Anyways, I decide to break up the laughter with a walk by myself. I find myself walking down metal stairs like a fire escape and onto a beach. On the stairs, I find a dark red crab that's the color of an uncooked lobster. This crab has one huge claw it uses as a decoy, it looked like it had a face on it. I almost thought it was two crabs sitting next to each other. I was about to touch it and it snapped at me. I continued down the stairs and spotted another crab, I think it was a king crab. I reached the beach and walked around for a bit. I decide to return to mom & dad and start back up the stairs. Behind me is a king crab that tries to make a swipe for me. I leap out of reach and it starts chasing me. I run up the stairs, pass the red crab and on a landing is another king crab. He's clicking his claws at me and coming closer. I kick it off the stairs and continue going up, suddenly there are king crabs all around me. One on the railing hooked my shirt sleeve. I broke off his claw and kept running.

That's when I woke up. Roasting, hot as hell, left hand completely numb, and mouth so dry I could drink a gallon of water and not be refreshed.