Shocking!!

I had a shock this morning. I got on the scale still half asleep but the number I saw woke me up. It actually said 159.5 lbs!!! I was so thrilled that I ran and got the camera. set the camera down nearby and got on the scale again. this time it said 160.5. rats. LOL But I'm still recording the 159.5. I saw that number, it was real darnit! LOL I took my measurements last night. I was surprised to see the numbers go down as much as they did but I won't argue. I'll take it.

It's a good way to start the day and I don't even mind how painful my fingers are this morning from the arthritis. I do mind how cold it is though. Since I've been up, the temperature went from 5 °F to 2.2 °F / -16.6 °C . The weather weenies say it will get up to 34 °F today. I'll believe that when I see it. With the inch of snow and ice out there and the cold temperture, I guess I'll have to leave a bit early for work.

As messy and horrible traffic will be, I'll still be in a good mood. All Thanks to that number I saw on the scale briefly this morning.

What a crummy way to start a day

I booted up my computer and started loading some pictures off my camera onto the computer. I noticed the desktop background wasn't showing up so I navigated to where the picture was and it was still there. I tried to make it the background picture but it wouldn't let me. so I selected another picture and it worked fine. I opened windows explorer and started looking at the picture folder. Yea, I still had everything and my pictures loaded off the camera card just fine. I suddenly notice that there's a picture folder in my music folder. I go look there and all my pictures are there. I go back to the original picture folder and the pictures are gone.

Now, last night, I accidently moved the pictures but I caught that and pressed cancel and everything was fine. This morning, that's not the case. Crap. I tried to move the pictures back to the original location but it won't let me. And every time it gave me an error saying it wouldn't do it, my pictures disappeared!! I couldn't find them anywhere. So I did a system restore thinking that would put things back the way they were but nooooooooooo Now, I don't have any pictures at all and the ones I just uploaded off the camera were gone and they're not on the camera card either. And they were 23 new pictures of Pipsqueek being cute and active and they were adorable pictures!! and now they're gone!! Damn!

Crap. So, my computer threw up. Decided all my pictures were not worthy to be on it, I guess. So, every picture I've ever taken and acquired off the internet or created myself are gone. Stupid doodoo kaka pooopoo!!

To top it off, I tried to eat my breakfast earlier, and I nearly threw up. So I'm not having a good day already. I'm supposed to leave for work now. I'm dressed and ready to go. But if my home computer crap and how I feel are a sign of things to come. Maybe I'll just stay home. I've been sick for the past few days and still waiting to hear back from doctor's office when I contacted them yesterday. My face as gone from hot to the touch an hour ago to now it feels chilled like chicken fat. I should stay home.

Nah... I'll just go to work and if needed I'll take a half day. I was going to take a half day yesterday but didn't. I should today.
Well, gotta go. Just wanted to vent about stupid piece of crap computer. Hope the day gets better.

Change in plans... I just tried to get my coat on and couldn't even do that. I put one arm through a sleeve just fine. I put the other arm in the other sleeve and the arm came out the bottom of the coat. I tried it again and got the same result. I took the coat off and threw it on the floor. Held back the tears of frustration and said. That's it. If I can't put a coat on, I can't go to work. I picked up my cell phone to call my boss but didn't think I should talk to him while angry so I emailed him. "I had been fighting myself on whether or not to go to work since I still feel crummy and when I couldn't even put a stupid coat on myself, I decided that's it. If I can't even function enough to put a damn coat on, I shouldn't go to work. "
I'm so frustrated I want to cry.

Updated: I found the pictures! They are buried deep in a folder within another folder within another folder and on and on. C:\Users\Kd\Music\Pictures\Pictures\Pictures\Pictures\

So now, I am putting them in a zip file and I'll save it to disk or something and then try to move the pictures again. if this doesn't work, I'll just delete the blasted things. lol

Weight a minute

On January 14th, I weighed 162 lbs and that's the last time I updated my ticker below. Then stress happened. Little sleep, lots of food, lots of stress and worry, I went up to 167. Today, after a week of working, still with little sleep (except last night I did get 7 hours, Yippee!!) and forcing myself not to chow down on everything, I'm back down to 162 lbs.

My original goal was to be at 150 lbs by February 9th which is my birthday. I figured that would be the best present I could give myself. If I still want to make that goal, I'd have to lose 12 pounds in 2 weeks which I just know aint gonna happen. But If I can get down to 154, I'd be thrilled. Why 154? Because then I could have that even number of 80.

I'll work at it and see what I can lose. Hopefully, the arthritis won't be too bad and I can actually do more exercise. On my February 9th, I'll post here to tell you what my weight is. I'll also give you my decision about whether to continue the weight loss to try to get down to a number in the 140 range. Heck, I may decide to lose as much as I can before march 28th. March 28th will be my 1 year anniversary of when I started this weight loss battle.

As good as it feels to have lost all this weight, I have to remember. I may be winning the battle but the war will never be one. I will constantly fight with weight for the rest of my life. Or at least until I reach that moment of utter defeat for when I truly give up. I can't say that won't happen because in a nother 20 years, I probably won't give a damn about weight. LOL

Update on Mom

my dad sent an email earlier "Dr. visited at 5PM. Mom will be on Diuretics and two heart meds,one for blood pressure control the other for heart rate control and Heparinto thin her blood. The underlying cause(s) are fluid build up, uncontrolledfibrillation hat might be fixed with a small shock later when she is morestable and a partially occluded heart artery. There will be a heart cathlater when the blood thinner levels are finally adjusted to address the POSSIBLE blockage. She might go home tomorrow."

Of course we all want to know what has caused this episode and heart trouble and just saying fluid build up is not a cause. what caused the fluid build up? I'm keeping quiet but one sister and my aunt have replied to all asking those questions and they feel like the cardiologist is just treating the symptoms and not looking for the source. To us, this means that mom will go home thinking nothing is wrong and she'll go back to her old ways.

I know my mom wants to come home but we all feel (except maybe dad of course) that she should stay there in the hospital another couple of days so they can find the darn cause of this crud. She's never had a heart attack and there's no scarring on her heart (test says so). so we know that's not a cause. If it's a blockage, they need to look for it and find that now instead of putting it off. She was supposed to have a Trans Esophogeal Electrocardigram test today but they cancelled that for unknown reasons. It's a good hospital, but either Dad isn't telling us everything or the doctor is not doing everything.

I haven't seen Mom today, I was a walking zombie all through work and felt I needed to go directly home instead of to hospital. Even now, I'm just too tired to think anymore..

I give up on trying to understand anything.. I'll just step away from the computer and maybe go to bed 3 hours early.

Waiting for News

UPDATED: LATEST EMAIL FROM DAD.... Dr. (Cardiologist) put Mom on 2.o liters of Oxygen down from 7.5 liters as a test and wants her to walk the hallway to see what happens.Will continue meds to reduce fluid build up. Stress test showed no scar onthe heart, no heart attack. Heart rate down to 100 or so.No T.E.E. procedure, cancelled. Will continue on blood thinner. MAY be sprung tomorrow, with more tests to come after getting stabilized with all her new meds. Lunch now after another 18 hour fast, then shower."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Below are just a few email updates from my Dad who got his laptop going at the hospital yesterday. We are basically still waiting for news from the doctors. Waiting Sucks! I didn't sleep well last night. Got to sleep around midnight and woke up at 4:15 am. I kept dreaming that my cell phone was ringing and I even got up at 1:45am to check my cell phone (no calls). Here I am at work, until 4pm (hopefully I can leave at 3pm but still waiting for word from boss who is in an airplane on his way to headquarters). Once I leave work, I'll go directly over to the hospital to see Mom and visit with her. I'll cut the visit short tonight since I know I'm going to be so exhausted by then.

When I saw Mom last night, her color appeared better and she could go up to 1000 on the breathing spirometer thinga-ma-jig. Her heart rate was still high but she appeared to be better already. I hope she continues to feel better. I'll post more when I hear anything, if I'm still awake, that is.

Email from 8:30am 1-22-08
Nothing new from the doctors as of 8 AM. Mom slept well but still has a high pulse rate. Hoping to see a cardiologist sooooon. The Trans Esophogeal Electrocardigram procedure is pending.... No food since 6 PM lastnight...again.... will update when things change.

Email from 2:45pm 1-21-08
Mom had her PIC dressing and site cleaned and redressed. Then had a shotof Heparin and a dose of Levaquin (antibiotic). We are waiting for resultsfrom stress test. The Cardiologist will read after hours, he's in his officeright now.

Email from 2pm 1-21-08
Mom had a resting stress test this morning, the active test was cancelledby the doctor. She is scheduled for a "T.E.E" Trans Esophogeal Elecrocaridgram tomorrow morning. Her heart muscle is weak, the heart rateat 132 at lunch time.She's taking Potassium, LASIX, Furosemide,Digoxin, Vasotec, Aldactone,Coumadin (Wafrin) and a few other things, I missed in additin to her regularmeds.There is talk of a heart cath, but it won't happen while her blood thinnerid high. The cath may show a blockage or other problem that will be addressed. It's hard to digest the info as it comes fast & furious. I'll piece more together as best I can.