I'm sitting here reading, tv is muted, so no sound in the apartment. Pipsqueek went to the patio door and cried.
I said, "what's your problem?"
He was quiet but staring out the door into the night. Then I heard it. The sounds of footsteps on rocks. Outside my patio, the bushes are surrounded by rocks. I started to get nervous but the footsteps soon faded away.
"whew.". A sigh of relief.
Relief was only temporary as the footsteps came back. I stood up and retrieved my sturdy cane, only weapon I have. I checked all the doors, made sure they were locked. I went over to my desk, had a cigarette and picked up the phone to call the police. Phone in hand, I went back to my recliner as I could only hear the footsteps there.
The crunching footsteps on rocks returned. It sounded like somebody pacing outside my patio. My imagination went into overdrive as I realized a person could easily leap over the railing and break in. I held my breath and waited for something to happen.
Silence returned and I figured it was just somebody out for a walk, walking their dog or something. Wait! what's that sound? Oh my god, they're still out there!
Now I was angry. I grabbed my flashlight, walked over to the patio door where pipsqueek was still watching the stranger. I flipped on the patio light and stared, waiting for the person to make themselves known. I didn't have to wait long. There it was, the sound I was dreading and I could now see the source. It was....
It was too damn funny, that's what it was. A piece of packing paper about three feet long was making sounds as the wind blew it across the cement of my patio. Geez.... Attack of the evil paper.
Beware the packing paper!!
I already shared this on facebook but it was such a good and funny story, I had to tell it here too.
Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Hi folks! I had an adventure
Sorry for not writing here this week. I had an adventure. This is a long post so pull up a chair.
I guess it started last thursday with stomach pain. The pain grew and grew until I was sick early sunday morning. I wasn't eating, not drinking enough, and in a lot of pain. By sunday night, I told my boss that I was going to try and get into see my doctor monday or go to the ER. I lucked out and got an appointment with a doc 9:30 on monday. She examined me and suggested Diverticulitis and sent me to get blood work and a cat scan right after my apointment. After the Cat scan, I was to wait there while the docs went over the results. The good news was that it wasn't diverticulitis. The bad news was that I had pancreatitis and it was bad. I went from the cat scan building, walked to the main hospital right to admission. Yup, I was admitted to the hospital.
I had more blood work done, was given Morphine Dilauded (medicine from God, I swear!) and made comfy in a bed. now time seems to get messed up a bit, so not sure which day exactly. lol I think monday Night, I had an xray of abdomen. Oh, I was really dehydrated too so finding a vein for the I.V. was fun. Tuesday, I had a type of MRI done. The mri showed that I had gall stones and the gall bladder needed to come out.
Surgery was scheduled for Wednesday at 3 and the nurses, surgeon assistant, anithesiologist and his assistant were all great in comforting me. They made me laugh a lot. I went into my first surgery ever. I remember scooting over onto the gurney and getting my arms strapped on the things. I remember them putting an oxygen mask on me and the anethesiologist (geez, i can't spell that word) told me to enjoy the trip. lol that was the last thing I remember.
After the surgery, I tried to talk, found I could only whisper no matter how hard I tried. My first word after surgery was parents. they didn't understand me so I croaked out Mom and Dad. found out they were waiting for me in my new post op room. Breathing really sucked right out of surgery, I panicked a little but as i breathed more, I relaxed. It was a bit scary for me. I had laproscopic surgery on my belly. they removed the gall bladder and said it looked like it was messed up for a while now. so yea, time to get rid of it.
I was discharged today and now I'm home, and after this post, I'll relax. My belly looks like it went through a war. I have bruises everywhere. Including where they put needles in my belly for medicine to stop blood clots.
Now a lot people immediately think that diet is why gall bladder goes bad. However, I asked the surgeon if gall bladder issues are inherited and he said yes. Mom had her gall bladder out. Her grandmother had her gall bladder removed. It's family history. The doc also said I can go back to whatever I was eating before. not that a lot people will care about that.
I did go to the store today about sandwich stuff and actually bought a salad kit. I did eat a fruit cup earlier. I think they were oranges. now I'm going to find something to eat that doesn't require a lot of effort. Then, I'm going to veg out in my recliner and relax. Maybe I'll read up on recommended diets for gall bladder removal stuff.
This was only my second hospital stay in my life and it was my first surgery. I went through a lot of emotions. I was scared, I cried, I laughed, and dozed. Also gave my parents guilt trips when they'd leave after visiting me in the hospital. You know, just had to do it. lol
Anyways, one week after a small stomach ache started, I sit here minus one gall bladder and with many many bruises and sore spots. Moral to the story, Do not put off seeing a doctor if you have a stomach ache.
I could probably type a lot of stuff here but I'll leave it now.. time to relax and enjoy my first night home..
I guess it started last thursday with stomach pain. The pain grew and grew until I was sick early sunday morning. I wasn't eating, not drinking enough, and in a lot of pain. By sunday night, I told my boss that I was going to try and get into see my doctor monday or go to the ER. I lucked out and got an appointment with a doc 9:30 on monday. She examined me and suggested Diverticulitis and sent me to get blood work and a cat scan right after my apointment. After the Cat scan, I was to wait there while the docs went over the results. The good news was that it wasn't diverticulitis. The bad news was that I had pancreatitis and it was bad. I went from the cat scan building, walked to the main hospital right to admission. Yup, I was admitted to the hospital.
I had more blood work done, was given Morphine Dilauded (medicine from God, I swear!) and made comfy in a bed. now time seems to get messed up a bit, so not sure which day exactly. lol I think monday Night, I had an xray of abdomen. Oh, I was really dehydrated too so finding a vein for the I.V. was fun. Tuesday, I had a type of MRI done. The mri showed that I had gall stones and the gall bladder needed to come out.
Surgery was scheduled for Wednesday at 3 and the nurses, surgeon assistant, anithesiologist and his assistant were all great in comforting me. They made me laugh a lot. I went into my first surgery ever. I remember scooting over onto the gurney and getting my arms strapped on the things. I remember them putting an oxygen mask on me and the anethesiologist (geez, i can't spell that word) told me to enjoy the trip. lol that was the last thing I remember.
After the surgery, I tried to talk, found I could only whisper no matter how hard I tried. My first word after surgery was parents. they didn't understand me so I croaked out Mom and Dad. found out they were waiting for me in my new post op room. Breathing really sucked right out of surgery, I panicked a little but as i breathed more, I relaxed. It was a bit scary for me. I had laproscopic surgery on my belly. they removed the gall bladder and said it looked like it was messed up for a while now. so yea, time to get rid of it.
I was discharged today and now I'm home, and after this post, I'll relax. My belly looks like it went through a war. I have bruises everywhere. Including where they put needles in my belly for medicine to stop blood clots.
Now a lot people immediately think that diet is why gall bladder goes bad. However, I asked the surgeon if gall bladder issues are inherited and he said yes. Mom had her gall bladder out. Her grandmother had her gall bladder removed. It's family history. The doc also said I can go back to whatever I was eating before. not that a lot people will care about that.
I did go to the store today about sandwich stuff and actually bought a salad kit. I did eat a fruit cup earlier. I think they were oranges. now I'm going to find something to eat that doesn't require a lot of effort. Then, I'm going to veg out in my recliner and relax. Maybe I'll read up on recommended diets for gall bladder removal stuff.
This was only my second hospital stay in my life and it was my first surgery. I went through a lot of emotions. I was scared, I cried, I laughed, and dozed. Also gave my parents guilt trips when they'd leave after visiting me in the hospital. You know, just had to do it. lol
Anyways, one week after a small stomach ache started, I sit here minus one gall bladder and with many many bruises and sore spots. Moral to the story, Do not put off seeing a doctor if you have a stomach ache.
I could probably type a lot of stuff here but I'll leave it now.. time to relax and enjoy my first night home..
Monday, April 13, 2009
A Date to Remember
I'm at my desk at work and I have one of those day calendars that still had Friday the 10th as the date. I flipped forward a couple of days to today's date and realized today is an anniversary of sorts. One year ago today, right about at this time, my parents were trying to get in touch with me. I do remember my mom on the cell phone saying "Stay where you are. Dad's on his way." Next thing I remember is opening the front door to see a bald police man standing there with paramedics behind him and my dad behind them. Evidently, it took them a lot of talking to convince me to open the door. Then I remember being on the stretcher and in the ambulance on my way to the hospital.
One year ago today, I had Viral Meningitis. Doctors at the time that I was admitted, didn't know if I had Encephalitis, Bacterial or Viral Meningitis. They didn't actually say it was Viral Meningitis until the 3rd day I was in the hospital. They were close to saying I had Encephalitis which is worse.
I know I need to let go of what happened but look at it from my point of view. It was the first time I had ever stayed in a hospital, I literally lost my mind and didn't know who anybody was and didn't know how to do simple things like turn the heat down or put a barrette in my hair. I had a fever of 102 and my normal temp is around 96 so I was very delirious. I also lost 9 pounds in the 4 days I was in the hospital because I couldn't keep anything down. I have very few memories of my battle with meningitis but what I do remember, I wish I didn't.
I had to be restrained in the hospital bed because I kept trying to leave. I remember those straps on my wrists and ankles. I believe I also had to be sedated. I remember the Doctors asking me what the date was and I said February 2005. I remember seeing my Dad burst into tears by my bed.
I also remember saying "I love you" a lot. According to my family, I said it to everybody who came near me. Doctors, nurses, and family members. That's the only good thing that happened.
After being admitted Sunday to the hospital, I was released the following Wednesday. I was only released because I forced myself to eat and was lucky enough the food stayed down. I was so exhausted and had no energy. I remember my parents taking me to the pharmacy on the way home from hospital, but don't remember for what medication.
I was out of work for about a month because of this sickness. Even though the meningitis was gone, I still had no energy and took many naps during the day and still had a headache from it. Then of course there were the many follow up appointments with my own doctor who had to run her own tests and be sure I was okay.
I was supposed to be on vacation April 13th through the 18th last year. I was supposed to go pick up my parents and we were going to drive to Las Vegas. So when I didn't show up at my parents doorstep, they called me. If they hadn't called me and figured out something was wrong, then who knows what would have happened. I had kept telling my mom that I had to go work and that's why she kept telling me to stay where I was. If I had gotten behind the wheel in that state of mind, I surely would have caused an accident.
It took me nearly all year to get over the fear of getting sick again. Scratch that, I'm not over that fear. I will always be afraid of getting Viral Meningitis again but now, at least I can shake a person's hand. The doctors told me that somebody probably had a cold or respiratory infection and when it got to me, my screwed up immune system mutated it and turned into the meningitis. Because of that, I will always have that fear of getting sick again.
I will always remember April 2008. I will always remember what it did to me and my family. In the future, I will try not to get choked up when remembering what happened.
One year ago today, I had Viral Meningitis. Doctors at the time that I was admitted, didn't know if I had Encephalitis, Bacterial or Viral Meningitis. They didn't actually say it was Viral Meningitis until the 3rd day I was in the hospital. They were close to saying I had Encephalitis which is worse.
I know I need to let go of what happened but look at it from my point of view. It was the first time I had ever stayed in a hospital, I literally lost my mind and didn't know who anybody was and didn't know how to do simple things like turn the heat down or put a barrette in my hair. I had a fever of 102 and my normal temp is around 96 so I was very delirious. I also lost 9 pounds in the 4 days I was in the hospital because I couldn't keep anything down. I have very few memories of my battle with meningitis but what I do remember, I wish I didn't.
I had to be restrained in the hospital bed because I kept trying to leave. I remember those straps on my wrists and ankles. I believe I also had to be sedated. I remember the Doctors asking me what the date was and I said February 2005. I remember seeing my Dad burst into tears by my bed.
I also remember saying "I love you" a lot. According to my family, I said it to everybody who came near me. Doctors, nurses, and family members. That's the only good thing that happened.
After being admitted Sunday to the hospital, I was released the following Wednesday. I was only released because I forced myself to eat and was lucky enough the food stayed down. I was so exhausted and had no energy. I remember my parents taking me to the pharmacy on the way home from hospital, but don't remember for what medication.
I was out of work for about a month because of this sickness. Even though the meningitis was gone, I still had no energy and took many naps during the day and still had a headache from it. Then of course there were the many follow up appointments with my own doctor who had to run her own tests and be sure I was okay.
I was supposed to be on vacation April 13th through the 18th last year. I was supposed to go pick up my parents and we were going to drive to Las Vegas. So when I didn't show up at my parents doorstep, they called me. If they hadn't called me and figured out something was wrong, then who knows what would have happened. I had kept telling my mom that I had to go work and that's why she kept telling me to stay where I was. If I had gotten behind the wheel in that state of mind, I surely would have caused an accident.
It took me nearly all year to get over the fear of getting sick again. Scratch that, I'm not over that fear. I will always be afraid of getting Viral Meningitis again but now, at least I can shake a person's hand. The doctors told me that somebody probably had a cold or respiratory infection and when it got to me, my screwed up immune system mutated it and turned into the meningitis. Because of that, I will always have that fear of getting sick again.
I will always remember April 2008. I will always remember what it did to me and my family. In the future, I will try not to get choked up when remembering what happened.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
A new Dream
The Dream begins with me watching TV in my apartment. It was a news story about a young American Indian girl (about 9 or 10 years old) who’s mother just died in a car accident. The girl knew she had a grandmother but couldn’t didn’t know her name (other than Grandma) or where she lived. This was a follow up story for they found the Grandmother’s house and they were surprising the girl with a reunion. As the news crew and the young girl arrived at the house, the girl recognized it immediately and jumped out of the car and started running to the house, yelling “Grandma!”. It was an old house with wood painted white but the pain was flaking off. Before the girl could reunite with Grandma, I shut the tv off.
The dream jumps ahead a bit. In the dream, I woke up to go to the bathroom and when I got back to bed, there were 3 small mirrors in my bed. You know the kind of make up mirrors on a stand like this one? Each Mirror was slightly different but this gives you an example.
I stared at the mirrors for a minute and looked at Pipsqueek who was sleeping peacefully. I picked up the mirrors and put them on a dresser nearby. In my sleepy state in the dream, It didn’t occur to me that I didn’t own these mirrors in the first place and they shouldn’t even be in my apartment. After putting the mirrors on the dresser, I crawled into bed. As I relaxed to get back to sleep, it suddenly dawned on me…“wait, where did that dresser come from?” I don’t own a dresser like that, it was hip height and about 4 feet wide. I sat up and looked at the dresser and then saw a large mirror just above the dresser. I started to freak out. “What’s going on? That’s not my mirror or dresser?” I jumped out of bed and went to the dresser and ran my hand on it to verify it was really there. “Calm down. It’s just furniture. Furniture that appeared out of nowhere!”
I turned back to the bed and those 3 make up mirrors were back on my bed. I was truly scared at this point. I looked at the mirrors on my bed and then at the mirror above the dresser and suddenly I just knew… The mirrors and the dresser belonged to the mother of that young girl I saw on TV. I was terrified. I looked up at the mirror above the dresser and saw the shape of a woman. It was completely black so I saw no details, just the shape but the shape appeared to come closer and closer in the mirror.
And that is when I woke up.. When I woke up, I was actually still scared and sweating beyond belief. I don’t know what it was about this dream that scared me so much but as I wandered to the bathroom without turning any lights on, I avoided looking at my mirror.
The dream jumps ahead a bit. In the dream, I woke up to go to the bathroom and when I got back to bed, there were 3 small mirrors in my bed. You know the kind of make up mirrors on a stand like this one? Each Mirror was slightly different but this gives you an example.
I stared at the mirrors for a minute and looked at Pipsqueek who was sleeping peacefully. I picked up the mirrors and put them on a dresser nearby. In my sleepy state in the dream, It didn’t occur to me that I didn’t own these mirrors in the first place and they shouldn’t even be in my apartment. After putting the mirrors on the dresser, I crawled into bed. As I relaxed to get back to sleep, it suddenly dawned on me…“wait, where did that dresser come from?” I don’t own a dresser like that, it was hip height and about 4 feet wide. I sat up and looked at the dresser and then saw a large mirror just above the dresser. I started to freak out. “What’s going on? That’s not my mirror or dresser?” I jumped out of bed and went to the dresser and ran my hand on it to verify it was really there. “Calm down. It’s just furniture. Furniture that appeared out of nowhere!”
I turned back to the bed and those 3 make up mirrors were back on my bed. I was truly scared at this point. I looked at the mirrors on my bed and then at the mirror above the dresser and suddenly I just knew… The mirrors and the dresser belonged to the mother of that young girl I saw on TV. I was terrified. I looked up at the mirror above the dresser and saw the shape of a woman. It was completely black so I saw no details, just the shape but the shape appeared to come closer and closer in the mirror.
And that is when I woke up.. When I woke up, I was actually still scared and sweating beyond belief. I don’t know what it was about this dream that scared me so much but as I wandered to the bathroom without turning any lights on, I avoided looking at my mirror.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Just when you think you are over something, it comes back to scare you
As my friends may remember, in April 2008, I had viral meningitis which hospitalized me for 4 days and made me miss work for 4 weeks. As a result of that, I became afraid to touch people or touch things they touched in case there were germs on them. I have a screwed up immune system and the doctors said that somebody probably had a cold at work or at a grocery store, and because I'm screwed up, my body turned it into viral meningitis. So I did whatever I could to avoid being around sick people and kept hand santizers with me at all times. I didn't even want to hug my niece and nephews because let's face it, kids are germ factories.
I forced myself to get over that fear that I could get meningitis from anybody or anything at anytime. I realized I didn't have any control over it and if it happens again, it just happens. I thought I was okay with it. Until now..
Yesterday morning I woke up with a cold. sore throat, runny nose, fever. Immediately my fears came rushing back at me. I calmed myself after reviewing my symptoms and reminded myself that it's just a cold. Then later in the day, I had an upset stomach and a headache and a sore neck, just like I did with the meningitis. I took my temperature constantly yesterday. Even this morning, first thing I did was take my temperature and make sure I could move my neck alright.
I took yesterday off from work but I’m at work now for a half day. As I write this, I’m wishing I had my thermometer with me. A normal temp for me is 96 degrees. When I had meningitis, my temp soared to 102. Yesterday, it was 98.1. so I had a small fever yesterday. Today, no fever but still I want that thermometer to be sure. lol
I hate having this fear that I'll get meningitis again. I don't wish that sickness on anybody. When I had it, I was literally out of my mind. I remember bits and pieces of that time but what I do remember, I don't like. If it had just attacked my body, I wouldn't still be afraid. It's the fact that it attacked my mind too. I don't want to lose my mind again.
I haven't told my parents that I have a cold because they share the same fears I do. I am still fighting my fears. I know that a majority of the people who had Viral Meningitis never get it again but I know people who have had it more than once. And since I'm soooooo lucky to have a screwed up immune system, chances are I'll get it again.
So I am struggling with my own fears today and the fears will probably always come up whenever I get a cold or something else And that makes me sad. I need to learn to deal with this. Since I'm taking a half day from work, I am going to go to the grocery store on my way home and get some medicine and try not to think about the germs on the shopping carts.
I forced myself to get over that fear that I could get meningitis from anybody or anything at anytime. I realized I didn't have any control over it and if it happens again, it just happens. I thought I was okay with it. Until now..
Yesterday morning I woke up with a cold. sore throat, runny nose, fever. Immediately my fears came rushing back at me. I calmed myself after reviewing my symptoms and reminded myself that it's just a cold. Then later in the day, I had an upset stomach and a headache and a sore neck, just like I did with the meningitis. I took my temperature constantly yesterday. Even this morning, first thing I did was take my temperature and make sure I could move my neck alright.
I took yesterday off from work but I’m at work now for a half day. As I write this, I’m wishing I had my thermometer with me. A normal temp for me is 96 degrees. When I had meningitis, my temp soared to 102. Yesterday, it was 98.1. so I had a small fever yesterday. Today, no fever but still I want that thermometer to be sure. lol
I hate having this fear that I'll get meningitis again. I don't wish that sickness on anybody. When I had it, I was literally out of my mind. I remember bits and pieces of that time but what I do remember, I don't like. If it had just attacked my body, I wouldn't still be afraid. It's the fact that it attacked my mind too. I don't want to lose my mind again.
I haven't told my parents that I have a cold because they share the same fears I do. I am still fighting my fears. I know that a majority of the people who had Viral Meningitis never get it again but I know people who have had it more than once. And since I'm soooooo lucky to have a screwed up immune system, chances are I'll get it again.
So I am struggling with my own fears today and the fears will probably always come up whenever I get a cold or something else And that makes me sad. I need to learn to deal with this. Since I'm taking a half day from work, I am going to go to the grocery store on my way home and get some medicine and try not to think about the germs on the shopping carts.
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